This is the time of year we talk about Peace on Earth and Good Will Toward Men (and Women!)  But for most people, this holiday is anything but peaceful! We already lead stressful lives that are jam-packed, and now we need to find time to bake, decorate, plan a party, and shop for presents.

According to a national survey released by the American Psychological Association (APA), nearly half of all women in the United States experience heightened stress during the holidays at great risk to the health of their minds and bodies.

Despite repeated warnings about the effect of stress on physical and mental health, surveys show that people are engaging in unhealthy behaviors to manage stress more than ever before – especially during the holidays!

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Well, whether you are part of that 45% or not, you can radically change things this holiday season – not by canceling Christmas – but by adding the “peace” back in! To that end, there is one thing you can stop doing, and one thing you can start doing today that can not only save your Christmas spirit, but also transform your life!

Neurologically speaking, the brain can only focus on one thing at a time – multitasking only works with computers. So it’s no longer cool to brag about multitasking, because that’s like saying “I’m proud of doing a bunch of things badly!” Multitasking makes you less efficient, less productive, and can increase your stress. The cure is to focus on one thing at a time…which leads me to the one thing you must start doing.

Mindfulness conjures up different ideas, depending upon your cultural and personal experience. Many people associate mindfulness with the Eastern traditions of meditation or the Western traditions of prayer. And just the word “mindfulness” stresses many people out because they don’t understand or are afraid of both of these spiritual practices.

We have an average of 50,000 thoughts per day and we can’t stop our brain from thinking…it’s always on. Being mindful doesn’t mean emptying our mind, or trying to stop our thoughts, it means “taking every thought captive” in a curious and accepting way – almost like an outside observer. And as thoughts and sensations come into our awareness, not trying to suppress any of them, just noticing them.

Mindfulness can switch off the stress response and allow us to have thoughts without letting those thoughts and emotions spiral out of control. The process helps us see that our thoughts aren’t necessarily accurate and the emotions associated with those thoughts are transient. So instead of ruminating or letting our thoughts spiral out of control, we’re able to break those habitual negative patterns. Breaking the pattern of stressful thinking and the negative emotions that accompany them will not only benefit our health, but will increase our thinking and creativity capacity. Eventually our brain will trust that we won’t freak out (like we used to do before we were mindful) when a stressful thought comes into our mind and will present us with thoughts that are more fully formed, giving us options and clarity to see a bigger picture.

Mindfulness is all about waking up and savoring our life – moment by moment. I first heard the term “falling awake” while working as a hospice nurse. One particular patient helped me understand the value of not sleepwalking through life, but being present to experience the good, the bad, and the painful…that each moment is sacred and will never come again. How ironic to learn so much about living from a place that was all about dying!

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2. When you start feeling overwhelmed or stressed, focus on your breath. Take a deep breath through your nose and notice how it feels in your nostrils, how it expands your ribcage, and how good it feels when you let it out slowly through your mouth. Focus on the sensations. Since we take about 20,000 breaths each day, we have plenty of opportunities to reset our thinking and focus on the present moment.

3. When someone is talking to you, try focusing fully on what they are saying instead of letting other thoughts (like your shopping list) distract you. Being heard is a human need and mindful listening is a wonderful gift to give anyone!

Practicing mindfulness is like exercising. If you do it a little, you will receive some benefit, but the more you practice it, the more benefits you’ll receive. Experts say that we can form habits if we repeat an activity for about 30 days, so why not give yourself the gift of falling awake and join me for my 30 Days of Mindfulness Program. Each day I will email you a simple and quick technique or a resource that will help you practice mindfulness in just a few minutes. Some of the topics we will explore are mindful eating, sleeping, relationships, business, exercise, and stress reduction. Whether you are a beginner or an advanced practitioner, having a daily reminder and application exercise to engage and help you live in the moment can transform your life! Taking care of the only moment you have – NOW – can transform your future! I hope you’ll join me for this adventure of a lifetime.

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Dr. Kabat-Zinn says: “We are not trying to actively achieve a state of deep relaxation or any other state for that matter while practicing mindfulness… But increasingly, by opening to an awareness of how things actually are in the present moment, we often taste very deep states of relaxation and well-being – of both body and mind.”

A taste of well-being… That’s what I want for Christmas!

Mindfulness will not only help you connect to your best self, but will connect you more deeply to those around you. You will become a master listener, intuitively responsive to others’ individual needs, and able to capture moments and opportunities that will never come around again. And that may be the very best “present” of all.