Don’t Just Get Through (Photo Journal)
I've driven across Kansas a few times now.
If you've ever been through Kansas, you know that there are a lot of open fields, miles of pastures and a horizon that seems to stretch forever. For most of us, the sheer novelty of the windmills and old barns and farming implements is enough to keep us interested for a few miles at least...and a few hours at most.
Just Get Through
My mindset has always been to "just get through" places like Kansas. Don't stop, don't explore. You just pack a lunch and hunker down for the 8.5 hour drive from Kansas City, Missouri to Denver, Colorado.
In coaching, we'd call that a fixed mindset. It's putting myself in survival mode, even though the situation isn't dire.
Usually, I take the kind of long road trips that I'm on right now solo. So there's no one to challenge my "just get through" thinking. But this time, I'm traveling with a friend.
A friend who didn't know how long Kansas is.
A friend who hadn't already given up on having an exciting experience.
A friend who asked a curious question.
Asking a Curious Question
Abraham: “I wonder - what interesting stops could break up our drive across Kansas?”
I tried to be gentle when I said "there really isn't anything...no super scenic stops or adventures we'd really want to get in on."
But Abraham wasn't dissuaded. He went online with his question and stayed curious. The only thing he let himself be "fixed" about was his question... "If there was something, what would it be?"
What he found in his research were a bunch of fixed people like me...and one guy who actually knew what he was talking about. Abraham found a series of cool rock formations we could visit with no more than an hour of extra driving.
Something Incredible in Kansas
He found a place called Monument Rocks, fondly named by visitors "the Chalk Pyramids."
By the time we got to them, conditions were perfect for a night time photo shoot of some of the last things I ever thought I'd find out in Kansas.
Monument Rocks, Chalk Pyramids, Kansas
You know what I DIDN'T have to do this time? I didn't have to "just get through." Abe was right - there was something interesting and it definitely broke up the long drive across Kansas.
Where am I Just Surviving?
As I reflected on this, I started to wonder what other areas of my life I've become fixed about. What are the areas of my life where I've resigned myself to "Just get through?"
Are my expectations of certain people become fixed? Have I set my expectations to "survival mode" for any of the family holiday interactions?
Where is the “just get through” showing up in your life or business?
What do you feel like you're going to have to just "survive?"
If you're willing to be just a little bit Wild + Brave, pause and ask a curious question. Something like...
“What if our Christmas Eve family dinner could be calm and peaceful?”
“What would make work a little easier during the busy holiday?”
"How could I show my love for this person without spending beyond my budget this year?"
You don't have to slide deeper in debt to have a happy holiday, or deplete your health and physical reserves in order to keep your business going during the busyness of the year's end.
You may not be able to ask Google like Abraham did. But you’ve got something better. You’ve got you!
Give yourself a moment today, and try to identify what area of your life you’re going to try to get curious about again. What part of your business, or which one of your relationships are you going to stop settling for “just getting through” this year?
Stay Curious
I'll never forget this night photo shoot with Abraham. I think I'll have to frame one of these pictures to remind me to stop "getting through" and stay curious.
Photo Credit: Abraham Ciokler, 2018
Wild + Brave Coach. Ghostwriter. Author of Think Wild.
Schedule a Free Coaching Session with Morgan