Thriving in the Squeeze: How to Deal with “Good Stress”

The Squeeze

It isn’t always the problems in our lives that create stress, eat our time, and make us wonder if we’re going to make it. Sometimes we work so hard to GET an opportunity that when it arrives, TAKING the opportunity puts us on overload. It’s “Good Stress.” The same stress can pop up anytime we grow, change, or make a transition. Even if all the changes are good, all the growth moves us in the right direction, and the transition promises less stress later – the stress level can still be high. Even good things can surround you with stress. This place of “good stress” is what I’ve started calling “The Squeeze.”

You’re In The Squeeze If:

• You’re in a state of transition
• You’re a mom and an entrepreneur
• Your daily mantra begins with “If I can just make it until…”
• You’re working a job while trying to start your own business
• You’ve experienced massive growth and are trying to adjust to it
• You love everything you’re doing, but still struggle to keep the anxiety down

I’m In The Squeeze

Right now, my family and I are in The Squeeze. At our family business, we’re making a transition from offering only coaching and consulting services, to now offering some programs and events in order to reach and support more teams, families, and business people. And like any other business, we can’t simply put our current work on hold while we prepare and create these new programs. We’ve had to find effective ways to address this “good stress.”

So Important

For us, the squeeze is feeling extra tight because we’re launching a mentorship experience, unlike anything we have ever attempted to do. And it is so important. It’s important to every person on our team, because it’s the first time we are finally getting to work with other families since founding our family firm. We know families are so important, at every stage in life. We know that thriving doesn’t happen in a vacuum – you have to take people with you. We believe that the most important and fulfilling people that you can ever take with you are your family members.

So Exciting

We’re also very excited. In our Positive Leadership for Families Mentorship Experience, we will get to do something me may never do again. All four of us will be LIVE on every call. Through the call, answering questions, and being involved in the Positive Leadership for Families Facebook Mentorship Group, we will get to spend some hands-on time with the families who want to thrive together. We’ll get to talk to you every week and really dive in to the journey your family is on.

How to Deal with the Good Stress

Making it All Fit

We often talk about Parkinson’s Law…the law that says the stuff we try to do expands to fill the time we allow for it. Sometimes deadlines help us honor this law, forcing us to allow less time for something. This is why, no matter how many things you remove from your schedule, your time still seems to evaporate. But have you ever heard of the reverse of Parkinson’s Law? It’s a brilliant idea shared in Better than Before, by Gretchen Rubin is the concept that when you clarify  a task or project, and schedule focused, dedicated time to something, it shrinks to fit in the time allotted.

Better Than a Deadline

Often, when we’re in the squeeze, we choose to appreciate deadlines because they give us a concrete finish, a light at the end of the tunnel. The problem with using a deadline as the light at the end of the tunnel is that part of our brains and bodies are never quite sure if the light is a train, rather than daylight. It means that the entire time we’re racing toward that deadline, we experience a lot of negative side effects. We feel sustained anxiety, sleep poorly, and often lose our patience and perspective with others. Something that leverages the power of deadlines, but minimizes its side effects is combining the power of clarity and scheduling. Scheduling clarified projects and tasks can change from the continuous burden of a deadline into a pulsing effort:completion loop that keeps us energized.

Pulsing is the Key to Thriving in The Squeeze

From thinking about how to fit it in, make the deadlines, to finding a way to produce something that’s worth sharing; the most powerful strategy for dealing with Good Stress is something thoroughly discussed in one of my favorite books called The Way We’re Working Isn’t Working. In that book, it looks at the four major energies we all use in order to get work done: Physical, Emotional, Mental, and Spiritual. Like a muscle, each the capacity you have in each type of energy relies on using that capacity, and letting it recharge.

Start with the Physical

Physical energy is what Tony Schwartz calls the “Gateway Energy.” Without physical energy, you cannot access your other energies. If you ever notice how being sleep deprived, or having the flu impacts your ability to be happy or nice (which takes emotional energy), your ability to think clearly and make good decisions (mental energy), and to find meaning and fulfillment (spiritual energy.) So when you’re in the squeeze, make sure you give your body what it needs in order to build and refresh your physical energy. This is the corner I see people cut the most; but once you deplete your gateway energy, there isn’t much hope of staying emotionally engaged and mentally sharp.

Pulse in the Physical to Recharge Everything Else

To pulse is to be fully focused and engaged in an activity, and to rhythmically take breaks to rejuvenate. This means working uninterrupted on one thing, and then stopping for a dance break. Going for a 5 minute walk, or doing some push ups at intervals throughout your day. If a lot of your day is spent at a desk or behind a counter, switch up your movement at least every 90 minutes. Staying in an uninterrupted work space for more than 90 minutes is shown to be unproductive. Just like stretching fabric a little too far, your work energy can’t get back to that healthy place if you don’t let up regularly.

Choose Your Pulse Points

As a little author’s note, this article was written on my laptop, sitting in my FJ Cruiser, using free wifi on Sanibel Island. I’m listening to the wind in the trees, birds chirping, and the laugh of a fountain all in the background. I have more to do today than I would call “easy.” So I planned most carefully my day’s pulse points. If I’m going to get it all done, I have to focus and rejuvenate. Not once. Not twice. I have to focus and rejuvenate in an endless loop until I’m done being productive. I knew that I’d have to be very strategic, and forcibly put pulse points in my day if I was going to make it through the day, and avoid having a work hangover that lasts into tomorrow.

    Here’s what my strategy looked like:

• FOCUS: Morning Admin (With Breakfast)
• PULSE: Shower and Ready for the Day
• FOCUS: Planning Call With Nick & Email Followups
• PULSE: Drive to Sanibel (Eat Lunch on the Way)
• FOCUS: Write “Thriving in the Squeeze” article for HCC Blog
• PULSE: Walk up the street for a fresh juice at the Sanibel Sprout and back to Sanibel Library
• FOCUS: Read Manual and Finalize Website Sketch for TEM at the Library
• PULSE: Quick Dance Break in the Library Parking Lot
• FOCUS: Prep for Tomorrow’s Client Calls
• PULSE: Drive Home from Sanibel Listening to Harry Potter eBook
• FOCUS: Plan Tomorrow’s Pulse Points (With Dinner) and Prep the House for a New Day

Switching Tasks Isn’t Pulsing

If you’re neck deep in Good Stress, it may be tempting to think of changing gears to a different task as “pulsing.” It isn’t. Taking a break from doing your taxes to answer your voicemail is not pulsing. Getting up to take a walk, playing a game on your phone, hitting the gym are great ways to pulse. And if you’re COMPLETELY OVERWHELMED, you can choose to make necessities like getting a shower, fixing lunch, and driving from point A to point B into Pulse Points. The key is to recognize that it’s time to pulse. If you’re using lunch as a pulse point, don’t check emails while you’re making it, and go back to your desk while you eat it. Find a way to change rhythm (turn on some fun music while you prepare), and change scenery (eat on the patio).  If you’re using shower time as a pulse point, don’t worry over all you have to do – sing, dance (carefully), or think about something fun. If driving to a meeting or picking the kids up from school needs to be a pulse point, don’t make business calls on the way. Making calls while driving can be a great way to get things done…but if you’re using the drive as a pulse point, really pulse. Turn on some music, listen to a fun eBook, or get back in the habit of noticing beautiful or interesting sights along your drive. If you’re intentional in this way, you can deal with good stress and have a whole lot more energy.

Don’t Get a Work Hangover

If you’re like me, you’ve had plenty of days where there was a whole lot of push, and very little pulse. These are the days when the voice in my head chants “I think I can make it…I’m almost there…don’t give up…” late into the evening. Even past the point where my brain was fried and the quality thinking of the day was decidedly past, I kept working. Any time I do that, I end up with work hangover the next day. You know what I’m talking about. It’s that grey haze that surrounds you when you crawl out of bed. Sleep was more of a time out in the middle of a 48-hours task list. My work day begins with a groan, extra coffee, and the weak wish that maybe, hopefully, I’ll finally get wherever I started heading the day before. So don’t get work wasted at night; prepare yourself to pulse tomorrow. It’s the only way to stop the vicious cycle.

So Pulse Now

Don’t let rejuvenation wait until after you’re done producing. Your product will never be as good as it could be if only you take a beat, clarify what needs to be done, and plan the pulse points to keep you rocking and rolling. Think about the day in front of you. What gaps could you turn into pulse points with a little thought? What gaps do you need to make so that you can pulse and renew your energy? Pick at least one point later today where you could pulse, and do it. You’ll be glad you did! Even good stress can get the best of you, so pulse to thrive.