Living Gamefully

One of my best allies lately in my own personal growth journey has been Dr. Jane McGonigal. I was 34 when I suddenly acquired a sensory disorder. Something changed in my brain, and I have battled crippling auditory issues for what seems like no reason.

In the 18 months since, I’ve had my brain scanned by an MRI, visited specialists, bought equipment, and sought help for my hyperacusis and tinnitus from experts in books and forums. I’ve adjusted, and slowly improved. But no one has helped me the way Dr. Jane The Concussion Slayer did from the pages of her book SuperBetter: The Power of Living Gamefully.

I’ll spare you my battle with super hearing, and the things I’ve learned from being violently parted from silence by screaming in my ears. But I want to tell you one thing: if we treated growth in our lives more the way a gamer treats growth in their favorite, challenging game, we’d grow quicker, more smoothly, and with shockingly greater confidence.

When our avatar tries to advance in a game, we know we’ll have to complete levels, gain experience, acquire skills and resources. We know we’ll fail some levels (often multiple times) before breaking through to the next.

When we die in an RPG, or run out of moves in our favorite puzzle game, failing the level, we get a reset. With time, power ups, spare lives, or trial-and-error discovery of strategies that work; we eventually progress.

But when you run out of lives in a game, or get respawned at the beginning of a level and have to try again, it doesn’t make you less. It’s part of conquering. This isn’t part of a peppy inspirational burst from a sunny writer. Lately I’ve been fighting bad guys and failing levels in my real life game of fighting through my sensory disorder to keep engaging in life.

Anyone who has battled depression, or been dogged by anxiety knows how demoralizing it feels to “not make it” past the real life threats to growth and success.

But gameful living reminds us that losses are often best dealt with during a regroup. We learn to see “starting over” as simply returning to the beginning of our current “level” to try a new strategy against the “bad guys” it holds. In a game, failure prompts us to reflect on what we’ve learned, and keep testing new strategies until we see something work. In a game, we understand that tools and resources can make us more powerful against the bad guys.

What we have to learn to do is respawn after an emotional experience has killed us. To regroup when our physical strength has maxed out. To take practical steps for beating the level where your knowledge is stalled.

Winning at the Game of Life

True growth creates a new normal.

When a healthy habit finally settles in after long practice and runs without effort, it has become our new normal. Instead of forcing yourself to take action, change, or resist a temptation, your new instinctual action moves you forward.

But how often do we successfully reach a new normal? What happens when our growth habit always feels like hard work? When that happens, we’re just a ticking time bomb of backsliding and relapse. This is exactly what happens when we push hard without effectively consolidating our gains.

If growth always looks like exertion (try harder, just do it, ACHIEVE ACHIEVE ACHIEVE), it doesn’t tend to become the new normal. This is why weekend warrior fitness efforts often result in small injuries and persistent inaction.

Leveling Up

Instead of pushing until we collapse, or resisting until our willpower wanes, we need to tap into the techniques of consolidation to grow into a new normal. In gaming this is called leveling up. With increased experience, our powers grow, new skills unlock, and we can face bigger bad guys without losing a life.

How much leveling up have you enjoyed lately?

Does it feel like information is always going in, but you never really master it? Are the bad guys and barriers to your progress discouraging you to stop trying?

I'm using Dr. Jane the Concussion Slayer's tips for battling the bad guys of hyperacusis to find a new normal that lets me level up in relationships and work and learning. I wonder, if you were living more gamefully, which bad guys would you be beating? I'm getting SuperBetter this summer, and I've already been boosted by this gameful approach to life. If you end up trying it, let me know how it goes for you.